Celebrating Ten Years of Marriage
Having just surpassed my second trimester, I was finally overcoming what I referred to as an all day “morning sickness”. That’s right, morning until I lay my ever so pregnant belly down for bed in the evening, I was violently ill. With food aversions leaving my stomach churning throughout my entire first trimester and on, limiting my diet to a steady intake of oranges in any form, hummus with pita, and Whole Foods Grocery pepperoni pizza. Somehow that felt well rounded enough to satisfy my daily rounding belly.
After months of not even be able to open the fridge, I finally felt the urge to cook again. My husband, Ky, had been my ever present help, preparing my meals and running to the store for all of our needs. This was also smack dab in the middle of 2020, which enabled him to be by my side through the entire pregnancy. Had I been able to, he never would have let me run errands during the heat of the pandemic anyway. Given that he had recently lost his job just a few months prior to finding out we were expecting, it was as such either way. This had been an unexpected blessing as I was able to have him near by as I struggled my way through those earlier days of gestation. I believe it was the first week of our pregnancy, when we heard the word “outbreak”.
Back to the fridge… For the first evening in months, I was able bodied and inspired to cook us up a delicious hearty meal; lasagna with garlic bread. Being the cook in our home, I felt very much right back in my wheelhouse preparing the most perfect satisfying meal for a growing belly. We sat down at the table, delightfully enjoying our first real meal in months. After Ky sat back down at the table with a second helping. I ventured on into the kitchen to help myself to some more of this ridiculously delish meal. Though, after a quick look at the garlic bread on the kitchen counter, a gut-wrenching feeling came over me.
He took the fluffy center piece of garlic bread, and had eaten it. The thoughts came flooding in, “how could he do this to me,” and, “why wouldn’t he even consider me when he ate the best piece”? I mean I finally was able to cook us a meal after all these months of being so ill!
It felt as though he has been unfaithful to me. Half disturbed that I was having these hilarious thoughts about garlic bread that felt so real, and then just as violated by the authenticity of these feelings, which felt so real. I found myself curled up on our bed sobbing. My poor husband unsure of how to respond to the hilarious and heartbreaking scenario in which he found himself, was by my side attempting to comfort me and profusely apologizing for eating the best piece of garlic bread.
Needless to say, we continue to belly laugh at this memory which so perfectly showcasing the hilarity of the very real, but skewed feelings experienced during pregnancy, thank you hormones! Ky, of course forever refuses to eat the best piece of garlic bread to this day.
Today, we have reached the ten year mark in our marriage. October 22nd, 2024 marks a decade of this commitment to each other. Though our relationship began seven years prior to marriage, when I had just been heartbroken by someone else, never expecting to meet my life long partner just a few short months later. Life is funny like that, you may find yourself in your worst moment then, to turn a corner and find a whole new path carved out. Ky and I have been together for most of our lives. We really grew up together in a way, as we did have a lot of growing up to do throughout the years.
The day of our wedding was a typical cloudy and rained out October day. That did not stop us from having an outdoor backyard wedding, where I walked down the isle with an umbrella and we kissed for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. as rain water drizzling down our cheeks. The hem of my dress still carrying water stains in memoir. I think our friend who married us said it best, "Ky and Phoebe do not do anything conventionally". Weeks prior we had announced our engagement to close friends and family, with plans to elope, and after years of our loved ones patiently waiting for this day to come, they refused to not be a part of it. So, what was meant to be a quick wedding, turned into a quickly thrown together wedding.
It was certainly a memorable wedding, as friends and family surrounded us with gifts of flowers for the event, food, outdoor tents which were borrowed from our church, and a friend even gifted her backyard for the evening. Looking back, I am amazed that so many were willing to help us create such a special day.
It was about six years into our marriage that we gave birth to our sweet daughter, Eloise. Born at thirty-seven and a half weeks, after twenty-four hours of natural labor, five hours pushing, and the grand finale of an emergency c-section. She arrived looking identical to her Swedish daddy, at the time not a hint of my Puerto Rican features, which she has grown into just a bit more over the years. Nevertheless, her golden blonde hair, green eyes, and sweet little button nose have captured my heart. Her joyful presence has been an incredible gift to both Ky and myself.
Marriage is full of ups and downs, but the one thing I find the most comforting in all of it, is having a witness to my life. Someone to share in these moments with, who can laugh with the same strange humor, cry at the dragon fly or the humming bird that passes by because it reminds us of the one we lost, create life and watch that life blossom into someone so very wonderful. It all goes quickly, no matter what we are doing. Might as well make the most of the time we do have, feel it, remember, forget, and never stop growing. Oh, and keep things a little unconventional. Cheers to ten years!
Happy ten year anniversary Ky Elliott!
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